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fifty decisions

from fifty decisions by cosmic moron

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lyrics

I decided to kill art and ended up killing artists
I decided to cut class and in turn fucked my life up
I decided to do drugs and lost all my parents trust
I decided to fall in love and in the end no one caught me
nothing I learn sticks because I'm sick
I can't adapt becuase I'm trapped
becuase when I have my prescription drugs I'm swept under the rug and so I shrug and pull the phone plug and lie there on my floor thinking of all I've done and I'm at war with myself and with the roar of the world. I stare at my phone and I groan.
it becomes known to me that
you don't need me or care, it's not fair.
I want to scream and shake and cry and
what I mean is I'm a fucking teen
what does anything mean is anyone there does anyone care
I need help I'm so lost I'm afraid to ask for it but at what cost?
home is where the heart is
all this crying I can't take this
slowly dying I don't want this
constant fighting always pissed
sometimes empty sometimes sad
never happy never glad I don't know if this is bad
It tends to feel just right

letting go and taking flight
Smoking drinking let me borrow a light
Then I think to my self my god is this
my life
and more
feeling nothing sure
is something
popping pills just for the thrills
smoking bud to relax And Drinking jack till my vision goes black
I see where I went wrong
I see myself for the first time
It's not cute to drink tequila and lime
I'm not special for what I got hiding in my pocket
I know my soul I, wanted to run away
but I just stayed, now I know why
Its important to lie and to be prepared to die

credits

from fifty decisions, released January 15, 2015

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cosmic moron Middlebury, Indiana

make something beautiful before you fade away; i can feel myself fading everyday

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